How can I get over being so judgmental?

Q. How can I get over being so judgmental?

A. When we look at a human being, we look deeply enough to see that an individual is made of many elements: society, education, parents, ancestors, culture and so on. If we don’t see all these elements, we don’t fully see the person. If he has the tendency to behave in a negative manner, it doesn’t mean that he liked to behave that way, but that he may be a victim of transmission. The negative seeds in him may have been transmitted to him by his society, his parents, his ancestors, or his culture.

When you realize this, it will be easier to have compassion for him. Then you will be motivated less by the desire to judge than by the desire to do something in order to change the environment, the culture so that the next generation will not be a victim of transmission. Instead of annoyance, you can have the desire to act with compassion.

When you look deeply at yourself, and you notice one of your strengths, whether it is talent or skillfulness or happiness, you know you have inherited it from your ancestors, your parents, your culture, and so on. You are their continuation, they have passed these things on to you. Likewise you see the negative things in yourself, such things as fear, anger and discrimination that may have been transmitted to you by your parents and ancestors. In either case, there is no judgment on your part. Your parents and ancestors were not able to transform themselves, that is why they have passed these things on to you. But you have an opportunity to transform so that you will not transmit these negative things to your children. This way of looking at yourself and others will give you understanding, compassion and a desire to act in order to transform.



Thank you so much for posting this. I have often abhorred my tendency to be very judgmental, but I never knew how to overcome it.